Domestic Terrorism

There are few things more irritating than a parent who doesn’t understand that their kid is, in fact, the most annoying presence in the vicinity. For example, the parent who buys their already annoying child shoes that squeak with every step. The only function those shoes might serve is to make the parent aware, at all times, of the child’s location. They serve no utility, however, as the child already at exists with a minimal volume exceeding 100 decibels. Obviously the parent, as well as everyone else within earshot, knows where the child is. Instead the shoes just serve to make the child grow exponentially more grating with each step. And why would the parent be so concerned with the whereabouts of such an undesirable thing, unless they’re tracking its movements so that they might eventually leave it behind? Perhaps many times the parent has almost successfully abandoned the offspring at a grocery store, only to hear the furious squeak-squeak-squeak behind them of that terrible burden in tow.

There's no excuse or absolution for the parent unaware of their destructive progeny who gaily throw items from store shelves and screech in high, almost ungodly, pitches. The blissfully ignorant are possibly the worst thing to happen to Western society, seconded only by the manufacturer of squeaking children’s shoes. The parent who acknowledges that their child is a hell spawn is far more tolerable. At least that parent can connect with the outside world with the knowledge that everyone is the room is just as annoyed as they are.